Dear Readers,

I have a pile of vintage crates in my room where I store my sweaters and jeans. It looks kind of like this except not at all because my pile of crates is totally ugly and lame and this one is, like, totally cool:


Anyway, this morning I awoke and stared at my stupid pile of crates. And then I turned to those crates and said “Hey, Crates. You suck and you’re ugly.” To which The Crates responded “Hey, you’re ugly too! If you hate us so much then why don’t you grow up and buy a dresser like a real man!” And I was like “FINE! Maybe I will. And then you’ll be sorry. When you’re in the TRASH. You stupid Crates.” Like Victoria Beckham is in need of a sandwich, I am in desperate need of a dresser. But what to buy? With all the frilly…

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